another patti/dead thing

["Steve Kenney" <STEVEN.H.KENNEY>]

when i got home saturday afternoon from nyc, i listened to "paths that cross,"
as i often do, to remind myself that they do and they will -- mine and patti's
paths, mine and those of the marvelous babelistas (phillip, mary, alison,
john, tony, jbolt, jeffrey, others in absentia, the ones i didn't meet or
whose names i didn't get -- you guys are great).  i noticed that, other than
this one tune, i couldn't listen to any patti, actually had no interest in
doing so -- the show was still too raw, i was still too affected by the
incredible energy and the emotionality of it to be able to listen to the songs
on the recordings in the safe versions i know by heart -- that would mar the
power of what i was feeling somehow.  it made me think of how we would get out
of a dead show and pile in the car to go home or the hotel or wherever and it
was always a fairly immediate desire to listen to the dead --"hey, pop in that
'83 Boise tape, man, that was a hot show" -- and be guided to sleep, back to
the world.  i didn't want to be guided back to the world after friday's show,
i wanted to stay where patti took me, where its *not* safe and easy.  patti's
performances are so much more visceral, emotional, so skin-less that i need to
just sit with it for a while, steep in it like a tea bag -- the dead can be
intelllectually and spiritually interesting, even challenging, but usually not
*wrenching* -- you walk out of a dead show feeling good, you walk out of a
patti performance feeling good but *shaken* -- this is not a "patti is dark,
grateful dead are feel-good" dichotomy, cos there's plenty of sheer joy and
humor and effusive spirit in patti's shows (even when she's in a crabby mood)
-- its just that patti seems to demand a lot more of you.  

skenney