Fw: Darwin Awards-Washington Man Wins (NPC)

["PageRox" <PageRox93>]

Hey, gang of friends I fwded this to!!

What better way to ring in the new year (besides perhaps a PSG show at the
BB!) than to reflect on some of the more idiotic human escapades of 2005?!
Some of you may have seen this, but as the Grand Prize winners were from
Washington State, of course I had to send it along!
Uh.....enjoy!

XOXO-Glenna

******************

The 2005 Darwin Awards
In case you have been waiting breathlessly for this year's Darwin Awards, here
they are. These awards are given annually to the remains, or estate of that
individual, who through single-minded self-sacrifice, has done the most to
remove undesirable elements from
the human gene pool. 5th RUNNER-UP: Goes to a San Angelo, California man who
died
when he hit a lift tower at the Mammoth Mountain ski area while riding down
the slope on a foam pad. 22-year old David Hubal was pronounced dead at
Central Mammoth Hospital. The accident occurred about 3 a.m., the Mono County
Sheriff's department said. Hubal and
his friends apparently had hiked up a ski run called Stump Alley and undid
some yellow foam protectors from lift towers, said Lt. Mike Donnelly of the
Mammoth Lakes Police Department. The pads are used to protect skiers who might
hit towers. The group apparently used the pads to slide down the ski slope and
Hubal crashed into a tower. It has since been investigated and determined the
tower he hit was the one with its pad removed.

4th RUNNER-UP: Goes to Robert Puelo, 32, was apparently being disorderly in a
St. Louis market. When the clerk threatened to call the police, Puelo grabbed
a hot dog, shoved it into his mouth and walked out without paying. Police
found him unconscious in front of the store. Paramedics removed the six-inch
wiener from his throat where it had choked him to death.

3rd RUNNER-UP: Goes to poacher Marino Malerba of Spain, who shot a stag
standing above him on an overhanging rock and was killed instantly when it
fell on him.

2nd RUNNER-UP: "Man loses face at party." A man at a West Virginia party
(probably related to the winner last year...remember him?--a man in Arkansas
who used a 22 cal. bullet to replace the fuse in his pickup truck) popped a
blasting cap into his mouth and bit
down, triggering an explosion that blew off his lips, teeth, and tongue. Jerry
Stromyer, 24, of Kincaid, bit the blasting cap as a prank during the party
late Tuesday night, said Cpl. M.D. Payne.  "Another man had it in an aquarium
hooked to a battery and was trying to explode it. It wouldn't go off and this
guy said "I'll show you how to set it off." He put it into his mouth, bit down
and it blew all his teeth out and his lips and tongue off, Payne said.
Stromyer was listed in guarded condition Wednesday with extensive facial
injuries, according to a spokesperson at Charleston Area Medical Division. "I
just can't imagine anyone doing something like that," Payne said.

1st RUNNER-UP: Doctors at Portland University Hospital said an Oregon man shot
through the skull by a hunting arrow is lucky to be alive and will be released
soon from the hospital. Tony Roberts, 25, lost his right eye last weekend
during an initiation into a men's rafting club, Mountain Men Anonymous
(probably known now as Stupid Mountain Men Anonymous) in Grants Pass, Oregon.
A friend tried to shoot a beer can off his head, but the arrow entered
Robert's right eye. Doctors said that had the arrow gone 1 millimeter to the
left, a major blood vessel would have been cut and Roberts would have died
instantly. Neurosurgeon, Doctor Johnny Delashaw, at the University Hospital in
Portland said the arrow went through 8 to 10inches of brain with the tip
protruding at the rear of his skull, yet somehow managed to miss all major
blood vessels. Delashaw also said that had Roberts tried to pull the arrow out
on his own he surely would have killed himself. Roberts admitted afterwards
that he and his friends had been drinking that afternoon (geez--you think!!).
Said Roberts, "I feel so dumb about this." No charges have been filed, but the
Josephine County district attorney's office said the initiation stunt is under
investigation.

 Now, THIS YEAR'S WINNER: (The late) John Pernicky and his friend, (the late)
Sal Hawkins, of the great state of Washington, decided to attend a local
Metallica concert at the George Washington amphitheater. Having no tickets
(but having had 18 beers between them), they thought it would be easy to "hop"
over the nine foot fence and sneak into the show. They pulled their pickup
truck over to the fence and the plan was for Mr. Pernicky, who was 100 pounds
heavier than Mr. Hawkins, to hop the fence and then assist his friend over.
Unfortunately for (the late) Mr. Pernicky, there was a 30-foot drop on the
other side of the fence. Having heaved himself over, he found himself crashing
through a tree. His fall was abruptly halted (and broken, along with his arm)
by a large branch that snagged him by his shorts. Dangling from the tree with
a broken arm, he looked down and saw some bushes below him.  Possibly figuring
the bushes would break his fall, he removed his pocket knife and proceeded to
cut away his shorts to free himself from the tree. Finally free, Mr. Pernicky
crashed into holly bushes. The sharp leaves scratched his ENTIRE body and now,
without the protection of his shorts, a holly branch penetrated his rectum. To
make matters worse, upon landing his pocket knife penetrated his thigh.
Hawkins, seeing his friend in considerable pain and agony, threw him a rope
and tried to pull him to safety by tying the rope to the pickup truck and
slowly driving away. However, in his drunken haste, he put the truck into
reverse and crashed through the fence landing on his friend and killing him.
Police arrived to find the crashed pickup with its driver thrown 100 feet from
the truck and
dead at the scene from massive internal injuries. Upon moving the truck, they
found John under it half-naked, scratches on his body, a holly stick in his
rectum, a knife in his thigh, and his shorts dangling from a tree branch 25
feet in the air.  Congratulations, gentlemen. You win. And some more idiots
have been removed from the gene pool!